i got the blues.

I find myself to be overly emotional today.

like for riz, just to give you an idea, i cried for, oh i dunno, the fifth time today, when i didnt put water in slades bottle before pouring the scoop of formula in.

yea. thats how bad it is.

why you ask??

as you all know, nash was in town this weekend. and he couldnt break away from family time long enough for us to have the night i planned for us, but he did come see me last night for a few hours.

it was everything i wanted my time with him to be. it was amazing, fun, passionate, comfortable, and way to short.

i caught myself thinking, this is what i want to do everyday. I could be here for the rest of my life with him.

we laughed, played, starred into each others eyes, held each other just to hear each other breathe.

it was incredible. beyond perfect.

and just like that it was over. saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing i have done.

neither one of us wanted to say goodbye and let each other go when i walked him out.

he says he will be back before he leaves for good, so i dont know why i am so upset.

I miss him more than i ever could imagine missing someone. i missed him the second he pulled out of my driveway.

********

sorry for the down and out post. i just wanted to share how perfect the night was and to get some of this ache off my chest that i am feeling.

you guys always listen, without the whole having to look at my crying, swollen red face.

and i love you for that.

hope yalls day was better than mine today!

hopefully tomorrow will be a better day than today.

much love,

m