So gangsta, Im so thug.

OH-EM-GEE yall. I had literally THE best slapsgiving Thanksgiving. EVER. Seriously, in my whole 21 years of life I have never had a better time with my family. We drank good beer, ate fantastic food, dominated an orange glazed 25 pounder turkey, told bad jokes while freezing our asses off on the porch, and took horribly drunken pictures.

 I could not have asked for a better weekend.

{ Mommy and baby Slades first Thanksgiving together}

{ Slade's cute little outfit}

{He was gettin lotsa lovins. I love his face in these}

Then the drinking began, as did the board game of "Who Wants to be a Millionare."

{ The million dollar question was "What color is a polar bears skin?" Do YOU know?}

Meanwhile, my aunt and I were over at the counter-top playing a good ol'fashioned game of quarters.

{I think we found our "drinking buddy" soulmates in each other}

Then, little miss Megan wandered around the table and proceeded to snap drunken pictures.

{While baby's asleep, mommy will play}

{best cousins, best friends}

{my aunts drunken smile cracks the hell outta me}

{ I'm not entirely sure who was the taker of this here picture}

The drive home the next day was a bit cloudy. Head was pounding, ate a big ol' greasy burger from a mom and pop fast food joint and started to feel a little bit back to normal.

{ hung-over and backseat=not a good combo}

I must mention, this little concoction was a life saver ALL weekend long. As not much sleep was had in the room of Megan and Slade. Slade did not like sleeping in a different place. NOT ONE BIT. So this little guy down here- MY HERO.

{Im officially addicted}

BUT, after re-energizing, Slade and I had a photo sesh.

{he eats the camera UP}

{I'm your biggest fan...}

{papa-paparazzi}

{too much fun mom, get outta my face}

 Needless to say, I had way too much fun and took way too many pictures.

I knew the trip was going to be fun, it always is when the whole family gets together, but I had no idea it was going to turn out to be the best Thanksgiving to date. There was never a dull moment. I would relive every single moment, hang over and all to have these memories.

How was yall's weekend? I hope you had as much if not more fun with your loved ones!!

{the weirdness that is myself}

Well lovers, I know this post was probably just about the epitomy of drive me crazy with pics, but what can I say, I wanted to share the craziness I call family.

TUUUUUUUUNNNNAAAGGGEEEE:

I know I know I know, I already have this in the big player at the bottom. What can I say, this song was literally the soundtrack to my weekend. Cause it was in my head seriously the ENTIRE weekend. I walked around singing "so gangsta Im so thug, youre the only one Im dreaming of you see" and " like a virgin, youre madonna" I shit you not.

Have a fab monday lovers,

m

catch up tunage.

Lord have mercy, Im slacking on tunage. Please forgive me.

I'm gonna hit you double today.

Happy Thanksgiving lovers.
m

may all the happiness in the world be with you this weekend.

I love the holidays. I have always been a sucker for anything Christmas or Thanksgiving. In my younger years, I never really took time to think about all the things that I am thankful for in my life. Be it uber cheezy, its still my life and I am thankful for everything in it. I have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs this year but in the end, it turned out to be the best year of my life.

 I cant wait to see how the next will top this one.

1. First and formost. My beautiful boy. Without him, this year would have never been as bright.

{ I can't believe he is already 4 months}

2. The fama-lamily.  Without this love. I would be nothing.

{ This was last Thanksgiving. My mom, my aunt and I. They are my rocks.}

3. Love/Nash.  I am happy. And for part of that I have him to thank. He stepped in my life and made the sun shine a little brighter. Next year is sure to be a whirlwind adventure if he sticks by myside. And I have a feeling he's gonna.

{He brings me this}

4. Happiness/sunshine.  One always brings the other.

5. My hopes and dreams. For once, I actually know where I'm going and what I want to do with my life.

6. Friends. Though they may be far and few between. I still have those few that have stuck by my side the past year and I will forever love them for that.

{I can honestly say I have had THE best times with my friends and I wouldnt trade them for the world}

7. Music. I have said it before and I will say it again. Music soothes the soul.

8. Laughter.  I mean, how could you not be thankful for somethings that is just down right funny.

9. Good eats. What could be any better than some good ol' slapsgiving Thanksgiving dinnas.

{yummmmms}

10. LIFE. It may be trying at times but the truth is we should all be thankful to be breathing the air we breathe. Life has its ups and it downs, and though the downs may be shittier than the next, the good times and happiness that we can feel outweighs those sucky times. Im am thankful to be alive and to have been given the life ima livin.

I am going out of town for the weekend so I wont be writing till probably Monday.

I want to thank those of you who actually take time out of your day to give my silly reads some love. Blogging for you guys is the highlight of my ever so boring work day.

I wish you and yours the happiest of happy Thanksgivings. May you have family and loved ones surround you and share memories to last a lifetime. Keep your cameras handy as I will mine and keep those memories forever.

i want you.

Man I'm missing him bad today.

What I'm most thankful for.

This is what I am most thankful for this slapsgiving Thanksgiving.

Slade,

I could have never imagined myself loving someone this much. I look at you and my heart overflows with love. You are everything. You fill me with sunshine. I am a better person because of you. I thank God everyday for blessing me with such an amazing gift. I dont see how I could ever love anyone more than I love you. I promise to protect you and be the best mommy I can be for you. I love you more than life itself. I cant wait to watch you grown more and more everyday. Youre already getting so big, grabbing things from my hands and smiling bigger than anything everytime you see mommy's. You have such a big personality for such a little tyke. You are more loved than you could ever imagine. Thank you for being my baby. Mommy loves you bubbie.

A very long walk down a curvey memory lane.

Im sitting at work thinking back on all my dating "escapades" thinking about each guy individually, all the likable and not-so-likable qualities that I saw in them all. I figured it might be a fun thing to do, to for the first and probably the only time, tell you about them all. And to maybe shed some light on my love life for myself.


First - He was my highschool boyfriend. My first ever boyfriend actually. He was my first everything, first date, first kiss, first....well EVERYTHING. We were together for almost 2 years. Junior and senior year we spent together. He was rich, well his mommy was. We went to Cancun both summers we were together. And looking back now, I didnt get near as drunk as I should have. Dammit. I thought I loved him. But then again, I had no idea what love really was. He was the first boy to ever "love" me. So in return, I loved him back. He was a very feminine boy. A little too emotional, too girly at times, and a bit metrosexual. I wanted to break up with him, but had no idea how to as I had never broken up with anyone before. I just didnt love him anymore, I had grown past being with a highschool "sweetheart" and about to graduate highschool and start college, I knew I could get some better booty. It was about to be my college years, ain't no way I was about to spend them in a relationship, a jealous emotional one at that. So I "accidentally" kissed someone one night, and broke up with First the next day. He cried. I didn't. It was hilarious. Sounds cold hearted, I know. But after being stuck for almost 2 years, it was time to moooove on. So I did. We still talk to this day and are friends. Im pretty sure he is going to come out of the closet sooner or later. He's got to.

Mr. Fun- About a year later I met Fun. Our first kiss was a passionate druken post-beer pong kiss. He pushed me up against the wall. We made out. He put his number in my phone. A few more drunken night kisses over the next few weeks. We started having sex. Then we had done what we were trying to avoid doing. Falling for each other. (sidenote: Fun, I can actually say was my honest to god first love. I was very much in love with him) I had some of the best times with Fun. Hence his nickname. He was adorable and hilarious. Always made me smile and I felt complete with him. I knew he probably wasnt going to be my fairytale, but I sure was having a hell of a time pretending he was. Then one day out of the blue, he asked me to take a break. It broke me. Bad. I was a drunk, lost mess for about 3 months after that. He is one of two people that has ever broken me down. I felt lost without him. After I moved past loving him, we had a few more late night drunken booty calls, he still to this day gets jealous over guys I am with, and there is still that undeniable attraction with us. We still talk. He is wonderful. I will never forget him. He will always have a little morsel of my heart with him.

The rebound turned clinger- eeewww. This is a short and not so sweet story. I was on the rebound from Fun. Looking for affection anywhere I could find it. I found it in Rebound. He was tall and gawky. Come to think of it now, he really wasnt that attractive. Obviously I wasnt being very picky when I had breakfast with him and followed him back to his house. We met at an outpatient rehab clinic. That should have been the big RED FLAG right there. (let me rewind for a quick sidenote- after Fun, I went into a downwards spiral of drinking and drugs, got fired from my job and almost attempted suicide, hence the rehab for a week, then the outpatient clinic)  He was charming and sweet. But after a few dates, started moving way to fast. After a month of dates and hanging out, he proposed. Yes PROPOSED.  WOW. And so followed, the its not you its me chat. Im not ready, blah blah blah. And so ends that short chapter of the rebound.

The Valentine- I think he was possibly the funnest, shortest fling I have ever had. He was older, he had tattoos, he was sooome kinda sexy. We had the most chemistry, the most passion. The greatest sex. We rapped together, laughed together and made Mr Fun totally jealous together. It started as a drunken hook up. And after a few more hook ups, then came a few dates, and along came Valentines day. To this day, he is the ONLY valentine I have ever had. Yes I spent valentines day with First, but he was never my date. Valentine actually did the old school asking me to be his valentine. And even went as far as getting me a rapping gorilla and a chocolate rose. It was adorable. Dinner was romantic, fantastic, amazing. That was the last time we ever went out. Talking to him became a rare event and eventually became non-existant. Valentine is now married and has a baby. He is happy and he too, I will never forget. Thanks for the fun, Valentine. You will be missed.

The hook-up- oooohhhh, where to begin. Hook-up was the stepping stone to my adult woman life. I had literally JUST moved into my first apartment with my best friend and her boyfriend. Hook-up was the boyfriends best friend, and he had helped them move their stuff into the apartment. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on, I think its an image that it forever stamped into my memory. It was pouring down rain the night we were moving our stuff in. Him and best friends boyfriend were lifting the matress up the stairs and I caught my first glimpse. He was wearing nothing by camo cargo shorts. And the drops of rain were running down his perfectly tanned, perfectly chizzled stomach. This boy was a dream. I caught my jaw dropping and had to contain my drool. I needed to know him. I HAD to have him. But I was sure he was WAY out of my league. Hook-up and boyfriend leave me and best friend to sit in a furniture-less, tv-less apartment to listen to the i-home and play cards, well play drinking games with cards. Bestfriend gets a phone call from boyfriend, she hangs up and, I shit you not, I still remember her exact words, "I'm supposed to make it known, that hook-up wants to hit that" I swear. thats exactly was she said. So I mean, who in their right mind, would EVER turn down this beauty of a man? Not me. And so began the first night of many with hook up. And thats all we ever did, was hook up. Over and over. And Over. He was beautiful. But he was a disaster, out of the bedroom. Still, if things would have been right, I would have dropped everything to be with him. We got really close a few times. But he had an insane baby momma,and a little bitty baby. Timing wasnt right. But lord was he fantastic. He was one of the lords greatest creations. mmm mmm mmm. Oh and what ever happend? why did the hook-ups end? Well best friend and her boyfriend broke up, lotsa beer consumed by all, hook-up ended up hooking up with best friend. In OUR apartment, the the next room, with it well known I was there. Thats the last I have "heard" of hook-up.

Nash- In comes the debut appearance of Nash. Best Friends brother. We had met once before, briefly, I had some tragic family stuff going on, we lost touch for a few months and then he came to visit. And stayed at my apartment. 2 drunken nights, 2 amazing "sleep overs" thousands of laughs later, he left to go back to nashville. We continued to talk, to text, to call, to crush on each other. Until it just started fading away.......to be continued......


The waste of space- Im sure we have all had more than an ear full about the "baby daddy" situation. So I wont go into too much detail. Together a month when I found out I was pregnant. Together only another month after that. But a lifetime of agony having to put up with his continuing shit. Needless to say, this one was one of the not-so-entertaining relationships. But he did give me the best thing that has ever happend to me. So for that, and only that, I thank him.

The cheat- Talk about another frickin waste of space. He was the lowest low of relationships for me. He was charming and adorable at first. then I slowly started catching him in lies. Constantly. He lied about his age, he lied about his ex, he lied about his previous and current drug use, he lied about his drinking, he lied about everything. I was pregnant while we were together. And being a stupid, self-conscience "didnt think I could do better" girl, I stuck around. He never made me feel beautiful, never made me feel good about myself, always made me feel stupid, constantly making me cry, making me angry, and making me feel like everything was my fault. The last few weeks of my pregnancy, seeing him was a rare thing. I had Slade, and two weeks later found out he was cheating on me. For god knows how long. Told him I hated him. That was that. Against my better judgement, I went and had drinks with him a month later, and felt nothing. He kissed me, nothing. Held my hand, hugged me, NOTHING. He still texts me and tries to get me to go have drinks with him again. I dont answer. I hated the version of myself that was with him. Im not that person anymore. He doesnt deserve me.

Once again Nash- And so brings us to present time. Nash is back in my life, and Im hoping for good this time.

After the whirlwind of romances I have had, its nice to have what I actually think I deserve.

Damn, my love life sure has been less than glamorous huh? But each of them has left a little piece of themselces with me that I will never forget. And spending time with each of them molded my past, which in turn molds the person I am. And for that I will forever be thankful. Well, for most of them.

something is missing.

Have you ever had that moment, where your sitting in a room with people you love the most, laughing and having THE best time, but then you feel like somethings missing? Even though you cant remember the last time you laughed so hard tears were streaming down your face, you still feel like there could be something that would make that moment absolutely perfect?

I was sitting in my living room yesterday with my family, the people that matter to me more than anything in this world laughing at god knows what, and couldnt help but wish Nash was there. I mean, I had probably one of the best weekends I have had in a really long time, and all I could think was having him there next to me would be the cherry on top of a delicious weekend sundae.

But instead, I didnt hear from him at all yesterday. Dont get me wrong, Im not the type to freak out after just one day of not speaking, but we talk everyday, most of the time for the majority of the day, mostly texting, but he always tries to call at least once. Something just didnt feel right about that. Something was missing yesterday. And it was him.

Not knowing when I will see him next tears me apart sometimes, when I let myself think about it too much. There are a few moments in a day when my heart aches I miss him so much. But I keep telling myself that I am not that girl, I am strong on my own. I dont need someone else to make me stronger. But having him would sure be nice.

Tuuuuuuuuunnnage:

happy monday to all,
m

ob-sessed.

Ok, so we all know that I am obsessed with the olsen twins. But I think I might be even more obsessed with Sophia Bush. I have been in love with One Tree Hill from the start and she has always been my fav. I always secretly was rooting for Bro-cas. I wanted them to end up together so bad. Needless to say, my hopes did not come true, for he is now living in some fantasly land with Peyton. Whatevs. All the bitterness aside, I am still devoted to tree hill, and will forever be.

I just think she is so classy and beautiful. What I wouldnt give for her teeth. Creepy? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.

I mean even off duty in a frickin airport she manages to be glamorous. I always envy these celebs that can go out in public with a t-shirt, jeans and sunglasses and just look absolutely fabulous.      So.Jealous.

I just love her.

the perfect love.

This is the perfect love.

This is what I want. This is how love should be.
You should be crazy and goofy and make each other laugh and smile at all times. And you should be so in love with someone it hurts. You should miss someone so much that you can literally feel your heart ache for them. The thought of being next to them warms you. You should constantly check for scars on your tummy where they could have put the butterflies you are constantly feeling.

Just the thought of him kissing you, you can almost feel him there. You should never have a doubt for one second that he doesnt love you as much as you love him. It should be comfortable yet challenging. Passionate beyond belief. Unimagineably spectacular.

Finding him should make you complete. I believe in soulmates. I believe in true love. I believe that when you know its the one, you know. I believe that if its meant to be it will be. I believe certain people never leave your mind because thats where they belong, and having them there feels right. When you cant be with them you look at their picture numerous times in a day.

This is perfect love to me.

you, I'd give my soul to keep.

Please allow me to share some bitchin photos, these are all inspiration to me in so many different ways.

{love me some ashley olsen and her outfit}

{if I had a house like this, I would have it look this way all the time}

{carrie and big <3}

{that's what im talking about}

{miss mk olsen-im pretty obsessed with these twins}

{ I want this}

{miss mk- lovin them red lips}

{ I want this room}

{told ya-obsessed, I love this picture}

{I want this entire outfit}

{ I am going to buy a beret. end of story}

{this is my kinda girl}

{ and of course I have to put my love :)}

I have decided that when the money is right, I am buying me a rad camera and getting back into taking pictures. I have kinda lost track of everything that I used to love to do, with my new crazy, hectic lifestyle lately. But I can put that in my pictures. So I am adding that to my "to do" list.

By the way, may I mention that I am falling head over heels. for Nash. He is the epitomy of an amazing man. Im so lucky.

Its about damn time for some bliss.

Well, my friends, what tune shall I share with you today?




James is a newfound love of mine. And he has been non-stop playing in my ear.


Also, I have decided to add a playlist of all the daily tunage that I have posted in this here blog of mine. It will be at the bottom of this page so you can see them all at one time.

Happy hump day to all,
m

my-y-y worried shoes.

Its another not- so-sunshiney day in the life of me. Literally and figuratively speaking. I arrive at work to be welcomed by an email from "worhtless waste of space". I blocked him on myspace AND facebook due to stalkage,  but still he finds  a way to get ahold of my email address. I literally cannot escape his bullshit. At the end of my very strategically sarcastic reply I added, "And please, from now on when you want to discuss matters of our son, be an adult and call or speak to me in person" and that was it.

Im sick of being looked at as the one who is victimizing him. I know exactly what he is going to do. He is going to show my reply to his father and grandmother and one of them is going to say something to me, like poor poor pitiful him, Megan keeps making him miserable. WHATEVER Im so sick of this bullshit, I swear to God if one of them says something to me, i am literally going to go off on them and tell them that their fucking little "angel" is a manipulative sorry excuse for a father and human being for that matter. Stop acting like I am the one initiating drama and start pointing fingers in the direction they belong to be pointed.


so begins by new found choice to not let him get to me anymore. Thats exactly what he wants is for me to get angry and do something to "mess up" which I am not going to do. He wants to get to me. And Im not going to let him anymore. I am going to be the happy person that I know I am and let him know that his petty shit doesnt bother me and it isnt making any difference. He is making himself look like an ass. Go ahead and dig yourself a hole, shithead. I will gladly watch from the sidelines.


In all other aspects of my life, I am happier than I have ever been. I have a beautiful son, who I love more than anything else in this whole entire world. I am falling for an amazing guy that is going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. The holidays are coming up and its is one of the very fews times a year I get to see my whole family, since we are all literally scattered across the united states, and they are a spectacular family. I am one lucky girl.



I have one of the most fabulous tunes to share with you today. I have to say this could be one of the best so far to date.




I am seriously in love with it. It makes me feel like there is a light at every end of a "bad day" tunnel. Gives me hope.


Enjoy,
m

its my worried mind you quiet.

Alright all, please excuse my bit of an outburst yesterday, as I was not in the greatest of moods. Im sure that was more than apparent. Whatevs. In any matter, I am a tid bit better today. Trying not to think about the bad, only the good.

I do apologize for not leaving tunage yeseterday, I didnt have the patience to wait for the damn webpage to load. Stupid computer. But I will hit you big time today, I promise.


But first I must share my chatty little Slade.






He just truley is the light of my life. His little smile can make me feel like nothing else matters but being his momma. He is the best thing I could have ever hoped for. I love you Slade.







Now onward to the tunage.






lata homes,
m