First - He was my highschool boyfriend. My first ever boyfriend actually. He was my first everything, first date, first kiss, first....well EVERYTHING. We were together for almost 2 years. Junior and senior year we spent together. He was rich, well his mommy was. We went to Cancun both summers we were together. And looking back now, I didnt get near as drunk as I should have. Dammit. I thought I loved him. But then again, I had no idea what love really was. He was the first boy to ever "love" me. So in return, I loved him back. He was a very feminine boy. A little too emotional, too girly at times, and a bit metrosexual. I wanted to break up with him, but had no idea how to as I had never broken up with anyone before. I just didnt love him anymore, I had grown past being with a highschool "sweetheart" and about to graduate highschool and start college, I knew I could get some better booty. It was about to be my college years, ain't no way I was about to spend them in a relationship, a jealous emotional one at that. So I "accidentally" kissed someone one night, and broke up with First the next day. He cried. I didn't. It was hilarious. Sounds cold hearted, I know. But after being stuck for almost 2 years, it was time to moooove on. So I did. We still talk to this day and are friends. Im pretty sure he is going to come out of the closet sooner or later. He's got to.
Mr. Fun- About a year later I met Fun. Our first kiss was a passionate druken post-beer pong kiss. He pushed me up against the wall. We made out. He put his number in my phone. A few more drunken night kisses over the next few weeks. We started having sex. Then we had done what we were trying to avoid doing. Falling for each other. (sidenote: Fun, I can actually say was my honest to god first love. I was very much in love with him) I had some of the best times with Fun. Hence his nickname. He was adorable and hilarious. Always made me smile and I felt complete with him. I knew he probably wasnt going to be my fairytale, but I sure was having a hell of a time pretending he was. Then one day out of the blue, he asked me to take a break. It broke me. Bad. I was a drunk, lost mess for about 3 months after that. He is one of two people that has ever broken me down. I felt lost without him. After I moved past loving him, we had a few more late night drunken booty calls, he still to this day gets jealous over guys I am with, and there is still that undeniable attraction with us. We still talk. He is wonderful. I will never forget him. He will always have a little morsel of my heart with him.
The rebound turned clinger- eeewww. This is a short and not so sweet story. I was on the rebound from Fun. Looking for affection anywhere I could find it. I found it in Rebound. He was tall and gawky. Come to think of it now, he really wasnt that attractive. Obviously I wasnt being very picky when I had breakfast with him and followed him back to his house. We met at an outpatient rehab clinic. That should have been the big RED FLAG right there. (let me rewind for a quick sidenote- after Fun, I went into a downwards spiral of drinking and drugs, got fired from my job and almost attempted suicide, hence the rehab for a week, then the outpatient clinic) He was charming and sweet. But after a few dates, started moving way to fast. After a month of dates and hanging out, he proposed. Yes PROPOSED. WOW. And so followed, the its not you its me chat. Im not ready, blah blah blah. And so ends that short chapter of the rebound.
The Valentine- I think he was possibly the funnest, shortest fling I have ever had. He was older, he had tattoos, he was sooome kinda sexy. We had the most chemistry, the most passion. The greatest sex. We rapped together, laughed together and made Mr Fun totally jealous together. It started as a drunken hook up. And after a few more hook ups, then came a few dates, and along came Valentines day. To this day, he is the ONLY valentine I have ever had. Yes I spent valentines day with First, but he was never my date. Valentine actually did the old school asking me to be his valentine. And even went as far as getting me a rapping gorilla and a chocolate rose. It was adorable. Dinner was romantic, fantastic, amazing. That was the last time we ever went out. Talking to him became a rare event and eventually became non-existant. Valentine is now married and has a baby. He is happy and he too, I will never forget. Thanks for the fun, Valentine. You will be missed.
The hook-up- oooohhhh, where to begin. Hook-up was the stepping stone to my adult woman life. I had literally JUST moved into my first apartment with my best friend and her boyfriend. Hook-up was the boyfriends best friend, and he had helped them move their stuff into the apartment. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on, I think its an image that it forever stamped into my memory. It was pouring down rain the night we were moving our stuff in. Him and best friends boyfriend were lifting the matress up the stairs and I caught my first glimpse. He was wearing nothing by camo cargo shorts. And the drops of rain were running down his perfectly tanned, perfectly chizzled stomach. This boy was a dream. I caught my jaw dropping and had to contain my drool. I needed to know him. I HAD to have him. But I was sure he was WAY out of my league. Hook-up and boyfriend leave me and best friend to sit in a furniture-less, tv-less apartment to listen to the i-home and play cards, well play drinking games with cards. Bestfriend gets a phone call from boyfriend, she hangs up and, I shit you not, I still remember her exact words, "I'm supposed to make it known, that hook-up wants to hit that" I swear. thats exactly was she said. So I mean, who in their right mind, would EVER turn down this beauty of a man? Not me. And so began the first night of many with hook up. And thats all we ever did, was hook up. Over and over. And Over. He was beautiful. But he was a disaster, out of the bedroom. Still, if things would have been right, I would have dropped everything to be with him. We got really close a few times. But he had an insane baby momma,and a little bitty baby. Timing wasnt right. But lord was he fantastic. He was one of the lords greatest creations. mmm mmm mmm. Oh and what ever happend? why did the hook-ups end? Well best friend and her boyfriend broke up, lotsa beer consumed by all, hook-up ended up hooking up with best friend. In OUR apartment, the the next room, with it well known I was there. Thats the last I have "heard" of hook-up.
Nash- In comes the debut appearance of Nash. Best Friends brother. We had met once before, briefly, I had some tragic family stuff going on, we lost touch for a few months and then he came to visit. And stayed at my apartment. 2 drunken nights, 2 amazing "sleep overs" thousands of laughs later, he left to go back to nashville. We continued to talk, to text, to call, to crush on each other. Until it just started fading away.......to be continued......
The waste of space- Im sure we have all had more than an ear full about the "baby daddy" situation. So I wont go into too much detail. Together a month when I found out I was pregnant. Together only another month after that. But a lifetime of agony having to put up with his continuing shit. Needless to say, this one was one of the not-so-entertaining relationships. But he did give me the best thing that has ever happend to me. So for that, and only that, I thank him.
The cheat- Talk about another frickin waste of space. He was the lowest low of relationships for me. He was charming and adorable at first. then I slowly started catching him in lies. Constantly. He lied about his age, he lied about his ex, he lied about his previous and current drug use, he lied about his drinking, he lied about everything. I was pregnant while we were together. And being a stupid, self-conscience "didnt think I could do better" girl, I stuck around. He never made me feel beautiful, never made me feel good about myself, always made me feel stupid, constantly making me cry, making me angry, and making me feel like everything was my fault. The last few weeks of my pregnancy, seeing him was a rare thing. I had Slade, and two weeks later found out he was cheating on me. For god knows how long. Told him I hated him. That was that. Against my better judgement, I went and had drinks with him a month later, and felt nothing. He kissed me, nothing. Held my hand, hugged me, NOTHING. He still texts me and tries to get me to go have drinks with him again. I dont answer. I hated the version of myself that was with him. Im not that person anymore. He doesnt deserve me.
Once again Nash- And so brings us to present time. Nash is back in my life, and Im hoping for good this time.
After the whirlwind of romances I have had, its nice to have what I actually think I deserve.
Damn, my love life sure has been less than glamorous huh? But each of them has left a little piece of themselces with me that I will never forget. And spending time with each of them molded my past, which in turn molds the person I am. And for that I will forever be thankful. Well, for most of them.
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